From Pamela

Out of the blue, a wave of homesickness came over me today in an intense way. I was reading a few emails before church this morning when suddenly I was overwhelmed with pain in my heart for my family and friends. There have been so many occasions of homesickness but for the most part it has been manageable. I momentarily think of those I am homesick for and then I move on. Today was different. I was so overwhelmed with the pain in my heart that I wanted to cry. Some people are embarrassed to cry and especially here in Africa. It is a sign of weakness to the African people, especially for men to cry. Therefore, you don’t see people crying here very often even these sweet children who have plenty to cry about. In some ways, their hearts are hardened in this sense. They can flock to see people being stoned for stealing or a burning tire around someone’s neck for a crime, and they never shed a tear. Honestly, it is beyond my understanding and greatly disturbs me to hear of so many heart wrenching stories told without any emotion whatsoever. (Sorry that was a side note but with a point) If someone sees you crying here, it is so uncomfortable for them that they often laugh because they don’t know what else to do. In light of this environment I am now in, I also find myself holding back tears, which I don’t normally do. Crying is healthy and I did my fair share of crying last year as we were leaving the States to come to Uganda. If I had not cried when I felt the need to cry last year in our leaving process, I think it would have swallowed me up and overtaken me. In the nine months of being here, I think I have only shed a few tears. Unfortunately, this morning as this wave of grief came over me, I did the same thing the Africans do and quickly moved on to something else so as not to feel the reality of my soul. I want to share with you how the rest of my day went as an offering of praise to My Father.

As I hurried off to get ready for church trying not to think about what I was feeling, there was this continued heaviness in my spirit. I was agitated with the boys and feeling short with my words. I knew the day was on a downward spiral, if I didn’t’ cry out to God to help me in my weakness. As we drove to church, I quietly prayed in my heart for God to please meet me in my heaviness and carry the burden of homesickness for me. How often I find myself in such circumstances and don’t cry out to God for help but muddle through the day on my own. What a shame! It was really such a simple prayer of “help me today for I am weak” and God in His great compassion heard my prayer and answered me.

We arrived at church and quickly found our way to our seats as we were right on time, so no time to fellowship before the service. The pastor was preaching from I Thessalonians 2:17-20. “But we, brethren, having been bereft of you for a short while- in person, no in spirit- were all the more eager with great desire to see your face. For we wanted to come to you- I, Paul, more than once- and yet satan thwarted us. For who is our hope or joy or crown of exultation? Is it not even you, in the presence of our Lord Jesus at His coming? For you are our glory and joy.” The very basics of the message were that as believers in Jesus Christ we should be about investing in people with the gospel and love of Christ. The investment in other people is NO waste of time and worthy of the cost. The last two verses of the passage brought such encouragement to my heavy heart this morning. Our hope, our joy and our crown will be to stand in the presence of God with many Africans that God has entrusted us to share the gospel of Christ with. The closing song of the service was an oldie but a goodie that many of you know “Thank you” by Ray Boltz. Just a few lines…

Thank you for giving to the Lord, I was a life that was changed.
Thank you for giving to the Lord I am so glad you gave.

As my hope may have been drawn to home this morning, God in His kindness reminded me to not long for my earthly home in the States (wherever that is anyway) but to long for eternity with Him. Also, to be faithful to invest in the lives of people in Africa so that on that day when ever knee shall bow and every tongue confess that Jesus is Lord, many Africans will be there willingly and joyfully bowing the knee because of obedience and faithfulness to His call.

Prior to coming to Uganda, there was a word of testimony spoken that encouraged me as prepared to leave. The word was this, “Do you not know, have you not heard, it is I the Lord who has called you out. I will go before you and I will go behind you, I will be your front guard and your rear guard. There will be a withered hand reaching out to you and you will offer hope in Jesus name. Do not fear for I will never leave you or forsake.”
Each time I go to my neighbor Selina and she reaches out her withered hand to me, I am reminded that we truly are vessels in the Redeemers hand. Oh that each person we see and speak to would experience the hope of Christ. That is an investment with eternal dividends. The cost is great and very painful some days but oh so worth it.

Even this past weekend we have had the opportunity to host a young woman from Kenya. A young man in Kevin’s discipleship group has been in a relationship with this young woman for four years now and he is trying to discern if she is the one he is to marry. This has been a very weighty decision for him. He is a recent convert and is so hungry and thirsty for truth. It is so exciting to be around him and to share the many truths of God’s word with him. On his many visits in our home, he has shared his family life and traditions with us. He comes from a large family because his father had several wives. It is not uncommon here to have several. You have one for mothering, one for cooking and one you take out on the town and maybe even some more. Anyway, this decision of a wife has become so weighty for him as he realizes it is God’s best to choose one and divorce is not an option. On a recent visit with his father in Kenya, the father told him that there are two kinds of women: ones that make good girlfriends and ones that make good wives. So this young man is trying to discern which one this young woman is. He asked if he could bring her to our home for the weekend and for me to spend some time with her. I was so nervous thinking of all the pressure he was putting on me. It is traditional that many of these discussions take place through the aunties. Long story short, the weekend was such a blessing for all involved and I am confident God will show this young man searching for God’s best – His best for him. In light of what I was sharing earlier about the investment in people, this young man is realizing the error of his culture’s traditional ways (especially in marriage) and choosing to do things God’s way. He desires to choose one wife until death and to love her instead of use her (most African marriages seem like a work partnership or something). This seems like a small investment but this investment alone in this young man can change the way of an entire people.

Instead of overwhelming homesickness, I retire this evening with an overwhelming sense of renewed passion to move forward with the gospel of Jesus Christ to a dark world. We are so humbled by these opportunities and pray for many more like them. Thank you for being apart of this ministry through your prayers for us. ~Pamela